Topic starter 31 October 2022 17:21
Hi Marcel,
Your presence, guidance, and tips beforehand had a positive influence on my trip (to my subconscious/stored feelings). Thank you again for facilitating lovely music and scents in my home. I loved the cinnamon scent.
For others reading this: I wanted to take LSD because I already had quite a bit of experience with truffles. But I just couldn't get to the internal block I was feeling. It felt like I was constantly trying to move forward with the handbrake on. I shut myself off from my parents and was very withdrawn. Everything took a lot of energy and I was constantly tired. I kept thinking about what the solution would be. I felt an emptiness and sought happiness externally to fill it. But nothing helped. I continued to feel tense and anxious, especially when I went to bed.
Start of the trip: I liked seeing all sorts of beautiful, intense colors and little figures moving on the ceiling. At the beginning, I also had to laugh hard at the thinking. I just wanted to be/experience, and just breathing felt so good.
During my LSD trip (150mcg), deep sadness soon surfaced. It was very healing to feel that through. An emotion that had been stuck. Along with it came a sense of loss. The loss of my mother when I was in the incubator. I felt like a baby again and processed the trauma of wanting so badly to be with my mother. After this, I felt like I wanted to have Mom with me in real life, which is also the reason I felt I had to do the trip at home. Mom came and sat with me, and I lay down with my head on her hand. I surrendered to her and energetically felt an umbilical cord connecting us again. I felt her maternal energy flowing through me. I finally felt safety, security, and a natural form of relaxation. Because of the secure attachment that took place, I felt happy again, as if the hole I carried inside me had finally been closed. After this, there were a few more releases of grief and fear that I experienced in the hospital, after which the tension I had continuously experienced in daily life was resolved.
This was my goal for the trip. I am so happy that it worked out. And I feel grateful for the opportunity. After this, the four of us went for a walk (me, my mother, our dog Bambi, and Marcel). I saw everything very clearly in terms of colors. No hallucinations regarding images. I loved eating fruit. I also had the insight that I need to take better care of my body. And that I really want to dance the tango again. So that is what I am going to do.
We ended the day nicely with Chinese food while connecting with my parents. All in all, a wonderful and healing trip!
gay reacted