Topic starter 17 May 2021 20:38
It was above all a great experience, that trip...
First, there was a conversation about my goals and what I could expect.
It took a while for the tea to start working.
It was strange at first. When I closed my eyes, I saw moving patterns. But with my eyes open, everything was normal. That was reassuring, a sort of... Deleted link Good for my inner control freak.
After that, it was less visual, but more about very intense feelings. There were no longer any boundaries between my body and the rest of the world, and that was weird, but okay.
I also received a sort of loving, caring messages, and that was the most beautiful thing of all: being completely permeated by the feeling that I am good just the way I am, and don't have to fight at all against what I see as my limitations or negative traits. I am completely good just the way I am, that feeling.
The music was incredibly powerful and completely swept me away. I cried a lot, but more from emotion than from sadness. I was not afraid at any moment, also because I always knew what was happening and could formulate normal thoughts (because I did not receive an extremely high dose).
I also laughed a lot, because I had a feeling of pure happiness and 'everything is perfectly fine'. I also found many of my thoughts particularly funny (but I do that otherwise too 😄).
I am so glad I did it, and proud that I dared to let go of control. I feel like I got exactly the experience I wanted and needed.
Now, ten days later, I still have the same problems as before my trip, but it is much easier for me to treat myself with love and gentleness, and to make healthy choices. And that makes a big difference!
Nathalie