Topic starter 18 July 2025 20:07
In August 2021, already four years ago, I participated in a truffle ceremony guided by Marcel. At the time, I did so primarily with the intention of strengthening my spiritual quest or to attain a specific enlightenment experience.
I think that at the time I mainly saw this ceremony as an endpoint (of a long search), but I never expected that it would actually be the start of a deep journey inward.
At the time I participated in the truffle ceremony, I had already been providing care for my mother, who suffered from Alzheimer's, for quite some time. I have always had a difficult relationship with my mother, and the caregiving actually only made it worse. This negativity seeped into my life as a father and as a man, and at a certain point, it completely consumed me.
During the truffle ceremony, there was a moment when I (or my soul) was placed by Mother Earth in a small boat on a gently rippling river. I felt safe and supported in a special way. This moment may have lasted a few seconds, or perhaps hours, but it made such an impression on me that, years later, I still remember it as if it had just really happened.
After the ceremony, I went home feeling somewhat enlightened or relieved, enjoyed slowly grounding myself back down, and went back to my daily life.
However, six months after the ceremony, my mother broke her hip, ended up in the hospital, and was transferred to a care home. All of this was accompanied by a great deal of stress and tension, but always in the background of my thoughts was the certainty of a safe, bobbing boat.
The years that followed were marked by a great deal of worry surrounding my mother and the attempt to process everything that had done to me. Until I eventually became depressed and burned out, my mother passed away, and I no longer knew how to bear this life on my own.
But still, always in the background, there was the certainty that my soul was being carried by Mother Earth, in a little boat, on a gently rippling brook. When my partner indicated that she was very worried about me and no longer knew if things would turn out alright, I could say with conviction that they would. It was as if I had a memory of a moment that was sure to come, a moment of special security.
It took another year, after my mother's passing, before I could let go of all the tension surrounding my upbringing, the caregiving, the death, and everything surrounding it. Looking back on these bizarre years, I barely remember who that man was, the one who pushed himself too hard, never set boundaries, and actually didn't know who he was. It is also only now, looking back, that I realize the experience I had in the truffle ceremony was not for that moment, but for the years that would follow. Without the sense of security I experienced there, I would not have lived through the past few years.
Now, I know myself to be more conscious and awake than ever before, and I know well who I am (and especially who I am not), and I feel my self finally finding peace with that same Mother Earth who told me years ago that everything would be alright and that she would carry me forever.
Nataniël
July 2025