Topic starter 30 May 2022 12:12
Two days ago, I took my first trip with Marcel. I am happy and incredibly grateful. I am 45 years old and grew up in a spiritual family. For the past 15 years, I have been working intensively with Zen meditation, among other things. I also give professional shiatsu massages. Let's just say I am somewhat familiar with "altered states of consciousness, out-of-body experiences…" But this... this was completely new to me! The first 5 minutes felt like I was flying at high speed and fast-forward through the experience of an intense 6-day meditation retreat. Sensory experiences become more intense, hyperfocus, introspection. I quickly realized that this was the beginning of "a trip into the unknown." One of the first things I noticed was the disappearance of "fear." Fear was immediately punctured as a mental construct created by my EGO. There was trust, curiosity, and euphoria. I stare at a work of art; I can interpret it in 100 ways; it becomes 3D. Colors are intense, fluorescent, music becomes a 3D symphony, undulating. Everything moves, breathes. I'm laughing my head off. (apparently 6 hours straight, according to Marcel)
Marcel gives me the choice to go deeper by giving me a 2the to offer a bag. Completely without obligation, of course. I choose with pleasure to go deeper. The intensity increases. Time has long been a concept that cannot be grasped. Everything is “now” and a dancing splendor of colors and forms. There is no inside or outside to myself anymore. There is simply “breathing”; my hands become transparent, 4K resolution vision. The grooves of my skin are flowing rivers, the hairs on my hand dance and are surrounded by a visible energy field, a transparent glow, filled with colors. My hands are semi-opaque and I see my bones through my hand. I see the process of aging and rejuvenation. It seems like a death and rebirth, again and again. Without any fear. Just an awe for the dance of manifestation. Some parts I washed away completely. No notion whatsoever of having a body anymore. Just radiant splendor on all sides. Sometimes I become a little more aware again and take the opportunity to ask myself the question: “Who or what is aware of this whole festival of impressions?“ And then there is simply ”now” again in all its glory. Alex Grey’s artworks suddenly become understandable. The ceiling seems to open. Nothing seems sensible, nothing is logical. There is nothing to understand. Just enjoy the incomprehensible beauty of the dance, the symphony, the cosmic joke. And just laugh.
I am very happy that I had the courage to do this. I have been looking forward to trying this for several decades. And I am incredibly grateful not only for the experience but also for the brilliant guidance from Marcel. Before, during, and after the trip. Everything is done with care so that you can do this in a tailored way and in safe conditions. I also feel that I owe a great deal to my years of meditation training. I have been trained to fully accept the moment as it presents itself, without any preference for what is pleasant or unpleasant. That is a useful skill to have when doing something like this. I believe that this is something you must do with care. Not just for entertainment. (although that is certainly possible with the lower levels, I think) I think it is time for the community of meditators to open up a bit more to the community of people who use psychedelics. We can learn from each other. In any case, I am not done with my discovery; this leaves me wanting more.
Thank you Marcel, thank you psilocybin, thank you Zen, thank you wife and children, thank you universe.
