Topic starter 14 September 2025 10:40
Where do I begin? I know myself that I am too much in my head and cannot easily let go of control. This strong cognition also gets in the way when I use psychedelic drugs. There seem to be almost no effects, even when I take double doses. Yet I "felt" (actually, thought) that I needed a deep trip to get closer to my feelings. So it was time to call in an expert and someone who has experience with really high doses. After some searching, I thought that Marcel was the right person for this.
The experience with 105 grams of truffles:
On the day of the session, after consultation, we started with a fairly high dose—no less than 45 grams! After an hour, I saw at most some colors, but not really a trip. I then took another 30 grams, and the effect slowly started to kick in. Still, I noticed that it wasn't quite enough to let go completely. When Marcel suggested we might do another 30 grams, I was briefly afraid that it might be too much. It is fortunate that Marcel is so calm, radiates confidence, and above all acts as if it is the most normal thing in the world. That gave me just a little more confidence to do it anyway. Something I haven't regretted at all!
The trip:
Not much later, I noticed that the music took over. My emotional world opened up and synchronized with the music. So the music determined the feeling, no longer my reason. For a moment I still thought: how, why, and what should I do? Meanwhile, it seemed more and more as if my body had a will of its own and was doing what needed to be done after all, but in my rational perception, I drifted off into a kind of dreamy daze. Everything lost its value and everything was what it was. Even problems disappeared; everything became trivial and small in the grand scheme of things. Meanwhile, I became the grand scheme of things, and that, in my opinion, healed me the most. I was no longer my problems.
It was so nice to be completely disconnected from myself and then come back with the idea that everything is as important as we make it. I think I have somewhat internalized the down-to-earth nature of Marcel. Furthermore, I now choose myself more often when necessary, and everything feels lighter!
I am eternally grateful to you for this experience and for being there when needed (and especially for not being there when it wasn't needed)! Without you, I would never have dared to do this! Thanks again!
AN.